If you don't country music you can kiss our ass!
My favorite drunk country star has reared his head again!
As some of you may recall, two years ago I found myself with some friends in Nashville for some line-dancin’. Being three Yankee girls, we didn’t know exactly how to go about findin’ some line-dancin’, so we ended up heading to a bar that looked crowded and honky-tonk (and boy was it both!). After making our way inside, we discovered why the bar was so crowded: one Kid Rock and one Pamela Anderson were celebrating their recent marriage by getting trashed with their buddy, Hank Williams Jr, and they were doing it right inside the bar that I and my friends now found ourselves unable to get out of!
While we stuck together (literally — we couldn’t move because we were being squished from all angles by sweaty, cheering Tennesseeans), Hank and Kid proceeded to give an impromptu drunken rendition of all their favorite country songs while Pam drank and writhed in the corner. There was one song they sang at least three times, often repeating the lyrics over and over as the crowd answered them every time. Us three Yanks thought it was made-up, and thought it was curious that everyone seemed to know the lyrics:
“Why do ya drink?” “To get drunk!”
“Why do ya smoke?” “To get stoned!”
“Why do you ya spend the night in someone else’s home?” “To get laid!”
Oh boy, were we mistaken. Turns out they were singing Hank Williams Jr.’s celebrated hit “Family Tradition,” and it was painfully clear that we were the only ones in the crowd that hadn’t heard this song repeatedly in the past.
Now, Hank Williams Jr. is doing his part for democracy. He has done his duty as an American, by rewriting his own song — now it’s “McCain-Palin Tradition.” The lyrics are pretty stellar (for example: “If I’m down at the coffee shop and someone wants to give our flag friction, we say please move on cause we’re standing strong, it’s an old John McCain tradition”), but I think you don’t get the full effect unless you listen to him singing it.
Now just imagine him singing that with one arm around Kid Rock and the other hand holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, often lifting up his shirt to show off his sweaty, hairy potbelly, and you’ll begin to get the image I have of him.
(Marc is the one who told me about this, and he rocks.)
1 year ago